Dear Go-Getter: Can Too Much Ambition Be A Bad Thing?
A 10-year plan in my hands.
I’m not buying a 2021 planner until I see the trailer.
When is ambition too much?
At my elementary school graduation, every student was given a book representing their best quality. I watched my classmates walk down the aisle one by one as they held their arms forward to receive their book and aloud be told their greatest characteristic. One of my friends got "Joy". The other, "Goodness". The girl before me was praised for her "Kindness". I yearned for my quality...a one-word description of the person I was at twelve years old. The summation of my being characterized into one single word...and I got...Determination. My pink puffy dressed valedictorian self was more than upset. I recall tossing my book as soon as I got home and I never read it. At twelve, I didn't want to be known for "determination". To me, it was ugly. It was manly. At least, at the time, I wanted to be the girl who got characterized as joyful or kind...something traditionally feminine.
As time went on and I entered high school, I kept getting "you're too ambitious" from the boys my age and came across too strong for most. However, I began to enjoy being called ambitious and grew to have it be my distinguishable quality. I got what I wanted and it was because I never took "no" for answer and worked tirelessly for it.
Throughout my life, ambition has been the dominant quality and a great source for who I am and how I am perceived. Through many ups and downs, I've battled the many pros and cons that come with the responsibility tied to being determined. Some pros include the relentless stamina I have to crushing my goals no matter how physically tired I am…but the cons, sometimes they seem much worse.
In the corporate world, ambition is not a bad thing - at times it can be a battle for who has the most stamina to kill it everyday and go after more. Saying "yes" is what you want to do to get ahead. The issue is ambition in the work place becomes a question of supply and demand. Can your body and mind supply all the demand for tasks and ideas you've said "yes" to? It's yin and yang. My ambition may be my greatest quality but it is also my tragic flaw and recognizing I have to slow down is a source of strength and not weakness. Similarly, being able to say I can't do it all and need support from my colleagues is also a big part of succeeding. There have been many times I've let my ambition push me over the edge by affecting my health, body, mind and personal relationships.
So when is having too much ambition a bad thing?
SLEEP PATTERNS
I used to sleep 4-5 hours per night and felt good about boasting the little sleep I got. While I'm a night owl, my energy and body now requires me to sleep 8 hours, at least, in order to feel good throughout the day. I'm not superwoman and now feel much better boasting how many hours I did manage to sleep while killing it throughout the day. Efficiency is key. Better sleep, means your body is also healthier. I can digest food better and not gain weight...which brings me to my next point.
HEALTH AND FITNESS
Metabolisms do slow down and as women, we have to be conscious of how with age, our bodies change and we're more prone to gaining weight. I never exercised and didn't worry about it affecting my health but again, things are different and with good sleep, complimenting fitness regimes is the way to go. I'm terrible at it but I'm learning. I just got a new gym membership yesterday and I feel so much better. Guess who started her Monday with a spinning class? I felt so much happier afterwards too!
MOOD AND HAPPINESS
When you're passionate about something, you'll work extra hard and get fueled by its rewards. I love competition, especially when I'm competing with myself. I love when things go my way and the rush of working towards my goals. Sometimes, when I pull crazy weeks, in the moment it's awful but when that proposal gets done or we help a client, I miss that rush. I immediately feel a sense of emptiness because of how crazy that rush of energy was. We get addicted to work and the adrenaline challenges give us. However, it is when you over-commit that things can spiral out of control and failure is inevitable. In order to be happy, you have to be ambitious but learn to control that ambition and fill your day with anything but work. Every week, I'm trying to schedule something different to do other than work. Whether that is an extra spinning class in a different part of town, getting my nails done, seeing friends and scheduling ahead of time...just so I know I will decompress.
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
I love spending time with my parents and sister. Making sure I schedule some time to see them every week is essential. They keep me humble and remind me when I'm overworking myself. Remembering that time goes by too fast and I want to enjoy every bit of it, is super important. Similarly, I'm learning to spend more time with good friends rather than the many I have. While I'm incredibly busy, making time for your loved ones is important so that you can let you yourself think about anything but your crazy ambitions or at least, in part, share them.
It's impossible to do it all but you can compartmentalize and compromise. I invite my friends to the gym, or ask them if they want to decompress or work on our dreams together on the weekend (vision board, cafe life, etc.). You can bring your loved ones on your journey to taking over the world but most importantly, you need to remember to take care of you. Your body, mind and soul are what will take you where you need to be and you first, need to take care of that.